I recently had a paradigm shift which has helped me in so many different ways.
Start with the image of a toll booth in your mind. A wide one with 7+ openings. There are E-ZPass lanes, cash lanes, truck lanes, etc. A lot of different ways to get through the toll. As I approach those tolls, I always look for the shortest line, the one which will get me through the fastest. Some people choose other lanes. Regardless of what lane you choose eventually you will get through.
Someone who is blessed with ADD, a superpower not a disability, is always looking for the fastest route. In working with my family, school leaders and educators, and even business people, I would very often get frustrated if in real life they didn’t pick the fastest lane. Comparing the tollbooth “Siri” to the many options we have in making decisions in our lives, sometimes the fastest isn’t necessarily the best. Sometimes it’s better to slow down, sometimes that slowing down gives you more clarity and maybe pause on situations.
I’ve added three little tweaks in my interactions with others when we’re involved in making decisions together.
- One: Don’t say anything about the lane they choose.
- Two: If I am going to say something, pause, think, and maybe wait until a better time.
- Three: If I am going to say anything, find a calm, kind, and respectful way to say it.
In the end, regardless of which lane you choose, you’re still going to get through the toll booth. Keep that in mind when working with people and making decisions. Those three tweaks certainly have helped me in my building relations with others.
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
