As I’ve shared in recent weeks, I lost my Mom on January 23, 2026.
On the morning of January 22, I was heading to do one of my favorite activities in the Port Jervis School District in New York: The Pledge of Allegiance LIVE in our classes with our students and staff. This is when I get to head into a classroom with my podcasting equipment. I meet the kids and a teacher in their room, they say the Pledge of Allegiance, they introduce themselves, and I learn and get to share a little bit about the class.
I was just about to head out for that event when my sister called and told me things were not good with my mom, and I should get to Staten Island, NY (my hometown) immediately. She didn’t think my mom would make it much longer. A deep sadness and hollowness came over me immediately. I became incredibly upset. I was right near the classroom and said to myself, “You know what: let me go do this Pledge real quick and then I’ll head out to Staten Island.”
It was a split-second decision, but I knew the kids and the teachers would be excited about it, and I wanted to do the Pledge, so I moved forward.
As I was prepping my equipment, I bumped into my colleague and good friend, Principal Emily Mesnick of the HBE school. This was just seconds after hanging up with my sister. Emily is a great leader in the Port Jervis School District. She greeted me with a warm smile and said hello.
Immediately, she knew something was wrong and just paused, gently touched my elbow, and asked, “Are you ok?” I smiled and said, “Yes,” and she said, “ok, good,” and waited. She knew there was something wrong. I didn’t have to say anything or do anything, but she knew I was not myself and was upset. She paused again, waited, and asked, “Do you need a hug?” She had no idea my mom was dying or was even in the emergency room. She just knew something was wrong, and she threw the best, most appropriate question out there: “Do you need a hug?” At that moment, I did need a hug. My legs were wobbly, and I was extremely upset, and Emily hit the mark.
As leaders, it’s important that we continually read the room and take the temperature of the situation. There was no training or program that could have had Emily read what was happening. It was her intuition, her character, and her overall care for people in that moment that led her to ask the right question.
The hug brought me to tears, and eventually I shared what was happening.
It was a powerful moment between friends, and I am grateful for Emily and her leadership. I’m glad I went on to do The Pledge with that class, too.
You can view it here:
They provided joy, comfort, and an inspiration in that moment when I was down–their enthusiasm and the professionalism of the teachers/aides was awesome and truly lifted my spirits.
May we continue to support each other as we move through our lives and in our leadership journey. It’s important to have connections and close friends you can lean on, and to offer and receive a hug when needed.
A few blogs back, I wrote: Do you need to be helped, hugged, or heard? Put that question in your leadership pocket like Emily–and pull out the right one, at the right time, with the right person. Thanks, Emily!
