Good morning. This is a guest blog written by my good friend Kevin Spainhour. Kevin is the Assistant Superintendent at Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Schools in North Carolina. You can learn more here: https://kspainhour.com/
I’m grateful for last week’s blog by Andrew on Beginnings and Endings, which included his surprise visit to my daughter’s last collegiate basketball game. If you missed it, check it out HERE. Andrew running into the gym full of energy to catch the game’s 4th quarter is so typical of a friend and a teammate that I’ve been blessed to know since 1993. When asked weeks later, Laura and I were happy to share our reflections as the parents of four children who are winding down their athletic careers.
Parenting, much like sports, happens in seasons. For the Spainhour family, we are nearing the parenting post-season (more on that later). Like so many families across the country, sports played an integral part in our children’s lives. Allow me to provide a quick debrief: Laura and I had two multi-sport daughters through high school, with one ending her 4-year college basketball career in 2025. Bree, whom Andrew mentioned last week, was a dual-sport athlete in college, playing both volleyball and basketball. Our two sons played three sports through high school: soccer, basketball, and tennis. Our high school senior is finishing his tennis season this month to cap off the final sports season ever for the Spainhours (until grandchildren arrive).
It is not lost on us that many families have similar experiences. Laura and I were both collegiate athletes and value the lessons, leadership, and team-building components nurtured by sports. We also recognize the insane amount of time over the years we have devoted to attending our children’s athletic events. Parenting, for us, is a lifetime achievement award that is earned daily. Trust me, we don’t always win the day, but we keep trying.
In our opinion, one of the greatest gifts a child can receive is a parent’s time. How you spend your time as a parent defines your priorities. Research indicates that time is the highest lever for building positive relationships with your children. Laura and I decided long ago that showing up to our children’s athletic events was going to be a top priority. We’ve missed the mark occasionally through 24 years of being parents, but not for a lack of effort.
For example, during the 2023-2024 school year, our children played 124 basketball games from November to February. There were only 6 games without either mom or dad in the crowd. More often than not, we attended together. We watched 118 games in four months. Many days, Laura and I would split up our game coverage. The only Saturday we were at home was Christmas week. We drove over 15,000 miles to random small colleges across five states and to local high school gyms in North Carolina to show up for our children.
For our family, showing up is love. Showing up tells our children that we prioritize them. If you are a sports parent, you know that 100% attendance is not always feasible. We were fortunate to have jobs in education that provided some flexibility. Nonetheless, there were several six-hour round-trip car rides for a mid-week game. And yet, Laura would be back teaching 1st period the next day. Our commitment to showing up was because we understood that this season of parenting had an expiration date. Our children were involved in both collegiate and high school sports for the past five years. In the rhythm of life, five years is a blip on the radar.
As a parent, we often feel the weight of our current season and fail to recognize that this too shall pass. The same is true in our career or leadership journey. We tend to fight the grind of our days without appreciating the time we have during a particular season. In his book Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller says, “I sometimes wonder whether we are moving through time or time is moving through us.” He goes on to state, “Some people skip through life; some people are dragged through it.”
As parents, we made a decision early. We would show up. We would be present. We would create an environment where our children felt seen, supported, and valued through their pursuits. That choice came with a cost. Time, energy, money, and shifted routines. Yet the return on that investment far exceeded the price. And now, our family’s sports season is closing. Long drives to games, celebrating wins, and supporting them through the losses will morph into other opportunities for us to show up as parents.
Beginning and endings. Parenting, like life, is full of different seasons. When one season ends, another begins. The goal of life and parenting is to enjoy each season. Cherish the seasons that end and anticipate with excitement the new season ahead. Your joy in the journey is connected to showing up and being fully present during each new season. Click HERE if you’d like to learn more about my thoughts on the Seasons of Parenting.
For school leaders, the practical takeaway is to audit your time. Be intentional. Show up for those under your leadership. Make sure your actions align with your values. If you claim to be a relational leader, then develop a calendar where you are daily winning the achievement award for being present. After all, your presence is often the best present you can give.
Beginnings bring excitement. Endings bring reflection. The space in between is where leadership truly lives. So show up. One day, you will look back and realize that the investment was shaping far more than a season. It was shaping a life and a legacy.
If you’d like more from Kevin Spainhour, check out my free, weekly newsletter for K-12 school leaders by visiting kspainhour.com.
