I was in a local business in the great small city of Port Jervis, New York, where I serve as the director of communications and academic services. I’ve been in Port Jervis 23 years now, and I love visiting local shops, getting to know business owners, seeing students, families, staff, and alumni out and about, and being present in the community.
The shop I was in had a new, dynamic business owner. She greeted me with a warm smile, pointed at me, and said, “Andrew, right?” I smiled and said, “Yes. That’s impressive. You remembered my name, and I’m sorry—can you tell me yours again?” She smiled and said, “Renee,” and explained that she works at getting to know people and remembering their names.
Some other people at the counter chimed in on the importance of remembering names and something about the person. The owner added, “You’re the author, right?” because we had previously discussed having my books in her shop. The other two employees at the counter introduced themselves, and I repeated their names. We all shared a laugh and moved on with the conversation.
I was with a friend and showed them around the shop a bit more. We talked and met some other people, and as we were exiting, all of the staff enthusiastically said in unison, “Goodbye, Andrew!” I waved, remembered two of their names, smiled, pointed at the third, and she repeated her name to me again: “Sarah.” I said, “Goodbye, everyone, goodbye, Sarah.”
My friend shook his head at the whole exchange. I asked, “What?” He said, “I’ve never had such a conversation about the importance of names. You and the shop owner were both so focused on it.” I thought about what he had said, and he was right. We were both focused on it, and it is important to remember people’s names. I think it builds a connection and fosters an authentic partnership when we can remember the name of that certain person who comes in and out of our lives.
If we go back to the beginning of the story when she said my name—what did I do? I smiled. It makes people happy when you remember their names. I struggle with it, but I work at it. I repeat the person’s name over and over in my head as I begin the conversation, then try to use it back to them multiple times as we talk.
A mentor of mine once told me, “Here’s how you can remember people‘s names: Remember something about them and associate their name with it.” This has helped me in many ways. I repeated “Renee is the shop owner” to myself, and associating that role with her name made it stick.
On your journey, be mindful of the power of names and the importance of using them often.
